Expect The Best

I’m pleased to announce that Kindred Spirit, an excellent and long-standing UK magazine on spiritual development and similar matters (now in its 115th issue), includes a three page spread I wrote about using creative visualization, affirmations, and goal setting, three psychological tools I cover extensively in my book Creative Visualization For Dummies, and also in Yes I Can! (published in May).

As a taster, here’s the opening paragraph, which leads into a powerful visualization exercise (if you want to read the rest you’ll need to turn to page 55 of the current issue):

Look out of the window or gaze idly at a nearby wall or somewhere with minimal distraction, and think about a time when you felt extremely happy. Whatever the reason for your joy, whether because of falling in love, listening to wonderful music, visiting an amazing place and so on, relive the moment and let your mind dwell on and soak in how you felt, as you remember where you were and what you were doing. Recall all your positive feelings of happiness, love, and energy, and remember how you felt in your body too, and all the things around you that you could see, touch, smell and even taste…

Published bi-monthly, the March/April 2012 issue of Kindred Spirit is now in shops for £3.80, and is also available in the USA for $9.50 or Canada for $10.95. As well as my article it includes features on the science of spirituality, discovering Dudeism, exploring the patterns of the mandala, the energy of the wolf, the ancient art of Japanese calligraphy, information on six healthy herbs, and much, much more.

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Using Confident Eye-Contact

People with low self-esteem tend to have difficulty holding eye contact and, as well as being correctly interpreted for what it is, it can also be misunderstood as being shiftless or lying.

But correctly applied, eye contact is one of the surest indicators of confidence and therefore it is well worth practicing to ensure you come off as neither too domineering, nor too meek.

Try this

Imagine that you are attending a job interview for a position you are keenly interested in. Visualize the person conducting the interview as a clean shaven man in his fifties with brown hair that’s well on its way to going gray, and kind, blue eyes that seem to encourage you to talk. Now imagine that you have been asked a question and you want to answer it well. Take a moment to imagine constructing your answer then look directly intro the interviewer’s eyes as you begin your answer, and hold your gaze for about five seconds as you speak. Now flick your gaze away as you consider your follow up statement, then look back to look into his eyes as you talk.

There’s no need to invent an actual discussion. Simply picture your making and breaking of eye contact as you talk. See yourself using it to emphasize important points, then look away after the point is made. Make sure that when you wish to appear properly attentive you look into the interviewer’s eyes when he talks or asks a question. If he describes something look away as you imagine whatever it is, and then back again to acknowledge the fact that you have done so.

Now for many people this kind of making and breaking of eye contact comes entirely naturally. But if it doesn’t to you then this exercise will help you to increase your level of eye contact, and for sensible durations, with appropriate breaks.

Understanding how we move our eyes

When talking with someone we also use our eyes as we recall or invent details. For example, when asked to remember something visual most of us will move our eyes up and to our left, as shown by face (a) in Figure 1. But when inventing a visual image (or pretending to recall a real one) we will generally look up and to our right, as shown by face (b) in the figure.


    Figure 1: Looking top-left and top-right

The same thing happens with auditory information except that we simply look to our left for remembered sounds, or our right for imagined or reconstructed sounds, as shown in Figure 2.


    Figure 2: Looking center-left and center-right

When we talk under our breath or in our imagination we tend to look down and to our left, as shown in face (a) of Figure 3. Our eyes also reveal when we are feeling a sensation in our imagination by moving down and to our right, as shown by face (b) in the figure.


    Figure 3: Looking bottom-left and bottom-right

Now these movements may be very tiny indeed and often are unobservable. But when you see them you can get a good indication of what someone is thinking or feeling, and whether or not they may be being truthful. However, you should never rely on the technique for anything more than an indication, since a few people move their eyes in opposite left and right directions to the norm, although once you know that someone is left-right reversed for eye movement you can take this into account. The top, middle and bottom positions, though, appear to be the same for everyone.

Using this information you can try to control your eyes and guard against revealing too much to other people, although it’s not as easy as it sounds. And you may also find that if you roll your eyes around in a complete circle there are several spots at which they try to settle. These will be natural positions where you frequently move your eyes when thinking or recalling, and you can try experimenting with them by moving your eyes to these places and seeing what feelings or memories this elicits – in some people this practice can help inspire creativity when a block is encountered.

Try this

To exude greater self confidence try watching the eye movements of people on television and see how they fit into these patterns. Then practice making the movements yourself while imagining talking with another person, tying the correct eye movements to what you are saying. This is not an exercise in learning to lie, although it could be used to attempt this. Rather it’s to help you gain more conscious control of your eye movements to better convey your message.

There’s a lot more on eye-contact and body language in my book Creative Visualization for Dummies.

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Free review copies of my books

I have obtained a limited quantity of each of my more recent books from their various publishers, which I plan to give away on a first-come, first-served basis to people who are prepared to take a moment and write a review on a blog, an online bookseller such as Amazon, or another website.

You are not expected, asked, required or in any way pressured to write a good review. All that I ask is that you truthfully write what you think about the book and give an appropriate star rating matching your opinion.

Why am I giving these books away? Simply because I think it’s important to let potential purchasers know what existing readers think about a book (whether good, bad or indifferent). Sadly, though, less than 1% of readers leave reviews, and so I’d like to encourage more.

To get your free book email me with the book’s name you are interested in, and where or how you intend to review it. Please play fair and make sure you do write a review after you have finished the book, and please email me the review URL so I can read it :)

Click on the following link to email me: robin@robinnixon.com, and please remember that this offer is only available while the free stocks last.

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Visualizing creatively for a healthy body and mind

One of the best guards against ill health is to have a healthy mind. Luckily it’s well known that positive thinking in the form of creative visualization can have remarkable healing effects – simply by imagining being well you can become so.

In many studies of ill people, even including those suffering from cancer, it has been found that by concentrating on healing the illness mentally, you can reduce and sometimes completely eradicate the problem. For example, cancer patients are often asked to spend as much time as they can visualizing their white blood cells bustling around their body (and especially at the sites of any cancer) destroying and removing all cancerous cells they find, allowing normal cell growth to resume.

How this works is not exactly known, but from a biological point of view it is thought that your unconscious mind works with your autonomic nervous system and immune system in response to the suggestions given them by visualization, and this helps them to closely target the causes of the illness.

Of course modern medicine provides a range of treatments for many diseases, including cancers, and you should always maintain any treatment agreed with medical professionals. But by visualizing at the same time your chances of beating illness are substantially increased.

Building strong core muscles

As we age, if we don’t keep active and allow our muscles to weaken, this can help cause our joints to calcify, leading to arthritis. If you are young you won’t really think about this, but once you reach middle age you will start to notice your first joint aches and pains, and that is about the time when you should start doing what you can to maintain your muscles in good condition.

Obviously this is a physical thing you need to do, since you can’t create muscle simply by thinking about it. However, what you can do is build your muscles more quickly and easily (and achieve the motivation to keep looking after them) through visualization. And by toughening your core muscles (which run through the central section of your body, consisting of the spine, pelvic girdle and hip joints) in particular, you’ll achieve improved posture, reduction of lower back pain, toned muscles, and improved physical performance.

Here is a combined physical and visualization exercise you can practice to emphasize to you and your unconscious mind the importance of keeping these muscles fit and strong – and to help your desire to continue with this exercising.

  • Sit up in an alert position and while you maintain a steady breathing rhythm try to pull your navel inwards and back to touch your spine.
  • Don’t just imagine this, actually do it if you can. This is called abdominal bracing.
  • As you hold your navel in, feel the muscles that are being employed and imagine yourself pouring energy into them from deep within your core.

Encouraged by physiotherapists and Pilates trainers this technique is held to be the answer to core stability so try to hold this position until the exercise is over, which should be up to five minutes if you can, but at least thirty seconds for a beginner. And remember to keep breathing evenly all the time.

Looking after your heart

By ensuring that your heart is as healthy as possible you will obtain a wide range of benefits due to increased blood flow and oxygen distribution around your body, such as increased energy levels and endurance, lower blood pressure, reduced body fat, reduced stress, tension, anxiety and depression, and improved sleep.

The only way to become and stay fit is to exercise, so the following visualization is targeted at motivating you and increasing your desire to exercise aerobically as frequently as possible or, if you have never jogged before, to go out and try it. You are going to go for a twenty minute jog so in your mind’s eye make sure you are wearing suitable clothes that are loose fitting and airy such as shorts or jogging pants and a t-shirt, and that you have on a good pair of running shoes.

  • Now imagine yourself in the suburbs or on a country lane and start jogging, feeling how your shoes fit just right and your feet feel like they are bouncing with each step.
  • Your legs feel strong and powerful, as your arms go back and forth in counter-rhythm to your them. They feel strong but are relaxed and simply swaying to keep you balanced.
  • As you jog notice a very slight sweat building up on your brow and mop it away with the soft armband on your sleeve. Also note how your body feels more supple and is moving more easily.
  • Be a little surprised that far from being tired you actually feel energized and can quite happily keep this pace up for the full twenty minutes.
  • As you continue, imagine passing trees, houses and side streets. Nod or wave to people you know, and enjoy that they are seeing you exercising because they know that you are being serious about your health.
  • Continue running as you breathe in cool and exhale warm air. Feel how the oxygen is refreshing your lungs and energizing your body.
  • Continue the visualization until you have completed the full jogging session.

Twenty minutes is all it took, which isn’t very long (maybe enough time to drink a cup of tea or coffee and not much more). Now, while it’s all fresh in your mind, start planning for when you will actually go out and jog for real.

Building stamina

As well as strength you also need the stamina to persevere with changing bad habits and becoming healthy – stamina that will keep you going through thick and thin, giving you the energy to work on things over the long term. Physically stamina is the kind of energy that you draw on to run a marathon, while mentally it’s the ability to stick with something until it’s completion, no matter how long it takes.

And so it’s time for another breathing exercise because, it turns out, such exercises can increase stamina and endurance for many activities such as running, swimming, martial arts and even singing. The technique used is called Chi breathing and the goal is to remove emphasis from the shoulders and chest, and instead do diaphragmatic or core breathing from deep within the abdomen.

  • Sit upright and hold your hands over your lower stomach.
  • Now breathe in as far as you can until you can’t draw in any more air, then let it all out again, until the very last gasp has been exhaled.
  • Repeat this a couple of times then start to imagine that as you breathe in your hands are somehow sucking the air all the way down your torso and into them.
  • When you breathe out again see them pushing the air back through your stomach.
  • As you do this you should feel your abdomen expanding and contracting and your breathing movement should be felt all the way down to your pelvic area.

Because you are drawing in far more air than with normal breathing make sure that you don’t over breathe, because you will need fewer breaths per minute. Take your time to settle into a slow and steady rhythm that feels comfortable. Then, once you are in the rhythm, visualize the deep and long-lasting energy that each abdominal breath brings you. I promise you, when you practice this technique you really will feel how deeply you are breathing. And while you visualize imagine all your internal organs being renewed and energized, so that after the exercise you will feel like just a car that’s been in for a service.

Being happy and contented

Having looked after your muscles, heart and stamina levels, it’s now time to turn your attention away from your body for a while and to your mind as you seek to instil as high a level of contentment as possible. Now happiness is one of the main goals in life of most people anyway. But it’s also a vital part of becoming and staying healthy.

If you aren’t happy your body will suffer, but if you can raise your spirits your body will follow. And this will enable you to deal with health issues and any bad habits much more effectively. You can’t go wrong with the following simple exercise any time you want to lift your spirits:

  • Spend the next ten minutes simply thinking about your future life, imagining that absolutely everything has gone as well as it possibly could, and visualizing how you have worked hard and succeeded at accomplishing all of your life goals and dreams.
  • Then grab a pen or pencil and a piece of paper and write down everything you just imagined. And that’s it – visualization complete.

In a recent study a group of research subjects were asked to perform this exercise for twenty minutes a day over three days, while a group of control subjects were asked to spend the same amount of time completing a diary of traumatic events. When tested after these exercises, the students who had imagined the bright future measured significantly happier and also healthier physically than the control group. And this was the same when the two groups were reevaluated many months later – so we know this exercise has a very long term benefit too.

Being eager to learn

When we learn, we build new neural pathways in which our memories are stored. And when we want change we must also create new neural pathways. In studies it has been shown that people in the process of studying for a qualification (or who make a point of constantly learning new things) are able to remember and recall information much more easily.

It seems that the more we learn the more we are capable of learning.Therefore, if you want to keep your grey matter as flexible as possible and compliant to the changes you want in your life, you will make the whole process much easier if you adopt an approach of curiosity towards life and always ask yourself questions about anything interesting. To help inspire your curiosity and thirst for knowledge you can try the following set of affirmations, which ideally you should repeat out loud from time to time. (Of course you may not consider that all these affirmations are true to the way you think, so just choose the ones that fit best if you wish, and make up new affirmations too if there are things you would like to be more curious about):

  • I am always keen to learn new things.
  • I have an active and curious mind.
  • I wonder what the world is all about and why I am here.
  • I like to understand what makes people tick.
  • I am curious about how things work.
  • I am interested in other cultures and languages.

If you regularly practice the various exercises in this article, you will help bring your mind and body together into a healthier, more organic whole, and you also will experience greater inner completeness and feelings of wellness.

Robin Nixon is the author of Creative Visualization For Dummies, available in all good book stores and on Amazon Kindle. You can follow him on Twitter as @robinfnixon.

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Bridging the gap between you and your goals

One of the things that makes it harder for us to achieve our goals is the perceived gap between where we are now and where we want to be. The two seem so far apart that getting from one to the other seems inconceivably difficult, and often this puts us off sufficiently that we may not even attempt undertaking the journey.

But using creative visualization you can help yourself overcome this barrier to success by preparing yourself (and your unconscious mind) to be ever alert and ready to take advantage of opportunities when they occur, and to also have the grit and determination to stay focussed on a goal until its completion.

Anyone can use the following technique to help achieve the goals they desire so please think of a goal you have that you are having difficulty attaining. If none comes immediately to mind, stop reading now and spend a moment thinking about it then, when you have chosen a goal, perform the following exercise:

Visualize this

Sit upright in your chair so that your back is straight and your legs are uncrossed and next to each other, with your feet slightly apart. Now rest one hand on each of your thighs with the palm facing upwards and take a few slow, deep breaths. In future when you practice this exercise you’ll remember what you have to do and should close your eyes for best results. But for now simply imagine that your eyes are closed as you follow these instructions:

  • Lift your left hand up a couple of inches so that it’s floating in the air. Visualize that it holds the essence of you as you are right now, including who you are, everything you do, the things and people you know, and so on. Keep your hand in that position.
  • Now lift up your right hand to the same height and imagine that it is holding the essence of you in the future with your goal accomplished, including who you are then, and everything about you, your life and the people you come into contact with. Keep both hands floating there.
  • Spend a little while focussing on each hand in turn, and considering what each represents. Do they feel different in any ways? Is one heavier or lighter than the other? Does one feel warmer or colder? Do you get the impression that one hand is smaller or larger, older or younger, softer or harder? Or do you notice anything else that’s different between the two? Whatever you notice, simply be aware of it.
  • Now imagine that each of your hands is an island and that between and surrounding them is nothing but miles of clear blue sea.
  • See yourself as if you are up in the sky looking down onto these islands and note how considerably far apart from each other they appear. However, over the next few instructions you are going to visualize getting from one island to the other in a variety of different ways in quick succession, and (among other things) the gap between them should appear to diminish.
  • Start by visualizing that a bridge appears linking the two islands together. It’s a very long bridge covering many, many miles, and there are numerous spans of roadway held up by towers anchored firmly to the ocean floor. Now imagine that you are down on the left island standing on the start of the bridge and see yourself running all the way across until you reach the right island.
  • As soon as you reach your destination imagine that you are back at the start again, but this time you have a bicycle and can get across the bridge more easily.
  • When you finish that journey go back again to the start and this time you are in your car, so see yourself drive across the bridge in next to no time.
  • Now imagine that instead of a bridge there’s a long underwater tunnel linking the islands with a train that you take to get from one to the other. Follow yourself taking this journey.
  • As soon as you get to the other side imagine that you are back again at the left island and that the tunnel is gone but, instead, you are in a plane. So see it take off and enjoy the journey as you fly from the left to right island. Look down and enjoy the view until you arrive.
  • Now, quickly changing scene again, and imagine that you are piloting a mini submarine. See your underwater journey along the sea bottom among the seaweed and fishes until you get to the right island.
  • Now imagine that you are a world class swimmer and simply swim from the left to the right island. Remember to put yourself right there in the water and feel its splash and the power of your strokes pushing you forwards.
  • As soon as you arrive start another journey in which you can fly like an eagle. This time you don’t need any physical mode of transport, you simply jump up into the air on the left island, then flap your wings until you are airborne. Keep on going and gently land on the right island.
  • Now return immediately to the left island and see that a zip wire has been erected between the two islands, so climb into the sling hanging from it, feel yourself get pushed off to a speeding start, and sense the wind as it whistles past you. Hear the whine of the roller on the steel wire as you whizz between the islands.
  • Next time you return to the left island, find yourself standing on a Star Trek transporter panel when all of a sudden your body starts to fade and become wispy, as you feel all the atoms in it being beamed across to the right island. At some point you notice that more of you is now in the right island and then you fade back into your complete self over there.
  • For your next journey notice that there are two huge trampolines, one on each island, and so start bouncing higher and higher on the left trampoline until you are ready to take a giant leap that will take you up and at just the right angle to come landing down on the right trampoline, where you bounce a few more times until you come to a rest.
  • Finally, see yourself simply standing on the left island and then deciding that you wish to be on the right one. So close your eyes, count to three and open them again, at which time you can see you are now on the right island.
  • Now bring your focus back up to your original vantage point in the sky and imagine that you can see that all the means of transitioning between the two islands are in position all at the same time. You can see the bridge and the tunnel linking the two, and for the modes of transport such as the plane and submarine you can see silver strands of energy showing the route they take between the two islands.
  • Now remember that the two islands are your hands and that these bridges, tunnels and silver strands are connecting your hands to each other – it feels like there are numerous forms of both matter and energy connecting them together.
  • Now slowly bring your hands up until they are at eye level. Then bring them closer towards your head so that each hand is near one of your ears with your head exactly between them.
  • Now, with your consciousness lovcated right in the middle of your head, feel all that energy, and all the pathways you made being absorbed into it.
  • Soak everything in until the bridge, tunnel and silver threads have all been fully assimilated.
  • Let your hands fall back onto your thighs, breath a few slow and deep breaths and, when you are ready, open your eyes again.

By practicing this exercise you make many new and different metaphorical connections between who and where you are now, and where you want your desired goal to take you (and who you want to be then). This symbolism is especially powerful because it is what your unconscious mind specializes in (just think of how symbolic and visual your dreams are). So by providing these images in rapid succession your unconscious clearly gets the message that you absolutely want to achieve the goal you have set, and it will do everything in its power to help you.

Now you may wonder what on earth your unconscious can do to help you attain your goal, and the answer is a great deal. For example, because it is ever awake and ever vigilant (even when you sleep), your unconscious will make you aware of any opportunities it spots that may come along, even when your conscious attention is elsewhere. For example, a link you might not normally click while browsing the Internet may seem interesting to your unconscious which may then prompt you to investigate it, possibly leading to some information you can use. This works in the same way as when you learn a new word and then hear it everywhere for a few days, because you are primed to look out for it. Your unconscious mind will also help you find the motivation and stamina required to keep working on goals that may take some time to achieve.

On a physical level, every time you think something, new neural pathways are created in your brain. So by visualizing all these different ways of getting from the left to right island, you form a group of related pathways which, by nature of the way our brains work, will then be added to when you consider real world means of achieving your goals. In much the same way that you must often provide a seed crystal in order to grow larger ones, this group of visualizations will work as a seed over which your real actions and methods of achieving your goals will grow.

For dozens more powerful visualizations that will help you achieve the things you desire and the changes you need in life, please check out my book Creative Visualization For Dummies.

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Behaving as members of the same family

According to the Bible and other religious texts we are all descended from an original pair of ancestors, while evolution shows that we all diverged as a species from a common ancestor. Either way, every one of us is related in some way to each other. That’s why we can procreate – our DNA is pretty much the same as each other’s Yet we often categorise the people who come into our lives in order. For example as relations, friends, colleagues, acquaintances, and so forth. But we forget that if we can go far enough back, every one of us is a member of the same family.

Just take a look around. Other people are not so different from yourself. They me seem stronger or smarter, braver or more happy, and so on, but deep down they feel the same as you do. They have the same insecurities, the same need for love and acceptance, and the same bodies and minds. However, experience shapes us in the form of our upbringing; the people around us, our environment and so on. People born in India are likely to become Hindus, or perhaps Buddhists (as might people from other eastern countries). Folk from the Middle East, Northern Africa, Indonesia and so on will follow Islam, while much of the western world supports Christianity. No matter how strongly held your religious belief, if you had been born in a different country the chances are extremely high that you would have a different faith.

And the same goes for ways of thinking. The national culture (or perhaps more accurately psyche) of a country like Japan is very different to that of (for example) the US due to widely differing cultures, covering everything from language, to food, working and, in fact, just about everything. And these differences can lead (and have led) to the declaring of borders, which can then go on to cause border skirmishes, invasions and wars. Much of human history over the last couple of thousand years has been devoted to wars over territory, ideology and religion. Yet we are (and always have been) members of the same family, except that we call it the human race – somehow that phrase serves to separate us from the other species on our planet, but it doesn’t imply a sense of family. Nevertheless we are all brothers and sisters, mothers and fathers, and sons and daughters (I am from the UK but spent some time in a small city in Texas, and must admit it was welcoming to be called “Brother Robin” by some of our neighbours – the Southern Baptists happily acknowledge that we are all family)

Whenever I used to read posts on the Internet from someone feeling depressed and lonely, and who perhaps craves friends and/or family, often because they have difficulty forming lasting relationships I have often felt prompted to post something in reply to them, but I never knew quite what to say that will be of any help. It seemed to me that there’s nothing you can say in a single post (or even a dozen) that will cure, or even ease, someone’s depression, and it would be presumptuous of me to think that you could. But nowadays I’m learning to live more in the now. Today is all we really have – yesterday is gone, and tomorrow is yet to come. So I am more inclined to try and respond where appropriate. So what I might do is leave a short message with a URL to a website I may have found particularly inspirational. The person can then ignore my message if they choose or if they follow the link I hope it may help lead them on the way out of their current problems – at least I have done something. I still hope I’m not imposing, though.

And the thing is, for anyone feeling the way I described, the best cure of all is  to adopt my approach – to reach out and to help others. After all we are all family, and families look after their own. I have found that there is nothing more conducive to bringing you out of a difficult patch or a depression than helping other people. I’ve been through a few myself, and things have only turned around when I have made the choice to stop worrying and complaining to myself, and to go and seek out others that in some way I can help. And I will be frank. Sometimes I have done helpful things for others purely for my own benefit and not to help specific other people. But by doing so, I have found great friendship and fulfillment and what has started out selfishly has turned into a positive outcome for more than one person.

So this post is dedicated to anyone who feels stuck in one of life’s ruts. Perhaps you feel abandoned and lonely and don’t know what your next step will be. Maybe a depression is setting in and you can’t pull together any motivation. Maybe you simply want a friend. My advice to you, then, is seek out someone who needs something. It could be a nighbour who needs a hedge trimmed, an old people’s home that needs volunteers, a scout group that wants a leader, and so on. If you look you’ll find something. Go out and help that person or group of people, and your life will turn around.

Remember, everyone you know and everyone you come into contact with, and therefore everyone you help, is a member of your family.

My book Creative Visualization For Dummies has much more advice to offer on forming better relationships simply using the power of your imagination and postive thinking.

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Taking the time to reflect on who we are

Whatever your religious beliefs (or otherwise), you have to admit that life is an astonishing thing, especially when considered on the microscopic scale. Every living thing on this planet is made up of trillions of minute particles, far, far smaller than atoms, called quarks. These all whizz around each other, attracted by the nuclear weak and strong forces and the pull of gravity and magnetism, in such a way that, as well as rocks, minerals, and elements, they form living, breathing, and procreating beings.

And as far as we know, this planet could well be unique in the universe, in which there are more than a hundred billion galaxies, each of which (moving up to a macroscopic scale) contains over a hundred billion stars, many of which have planets. The universe is simply huge and we and everything around us are absolutely miniscule in comparison. Yet there is this one amazing thing that makes our planet stand out, and that’s the fact that it’s teeming with life. And all human beings are organic wholes comprising billions (perhaps trillions) of constituent parts that make up our bodies and minds. When you consider this it’s truly incredible.

We have the most advanced optical system built into our eyes, computer technology in our brains are far superior to the large and clunky devices we have so far been able to build ourselves, our bodies can turn even the smallest amounts of food into large amounts of energy to keep us going, and we have an interconnected set of internal organs that work together to help us grow, keep us fit, and allow us to reproduce perfect (yet different) copies of ourselves.

What’s more, we even have billions of living things dwelling in side us working together symbiotically. In our stomach there are many different types of bacteria that help to digest our food, and every single cell in our body possesses mitochondria, factories that produce energy for our cells, that are themselves very ancient bacteria and which still contain their own DNA and replication machinery.

Even our white blood cells are millions of determined individuals that patrol our blood, seeking out and destroying contaminants for the good of us as a whole. And in the way that all these things within us come together to make us, we who too often consider ourselves as individuals, are really all members of a larger organism known as mankind.

In turn mankind is a member of the group of life, which is a member of the universe, which scientists tell us was created with a big bang, resulting in galaxies containing numerous stars, many of which expired billions of years ago, and that our solar system and everything in it comprises elements forged inside these expired stars, and perhaps more than one such star.

Now I don’t want to get into a debate on creationism and evolution (etc) because how we got here is not so important as the fact that we are alive and existing right this minute. Whether it was God or the big bang (which could still be God) is not the issue when contemplating the vastness of the universe, and then comparing that with just how small we and the minute things that comprise us (and all there is).

And yet, tiny as we may be, we have something amazing – we are conscious. Being aware of our own existence we are able to think. We are curious about our surroundings and how we got here. We want to know why we are here and whether we have a purpose. We readily understand the concept of God, and billions of us are members of one or other religion. Why? Because we innately realise that the world we live in and life itself is a really big deal, and religion helps many of us receive answers to the questions that fill our minds.

But more than this, out of our consciousness comes something non-physical, something you can’t pick up and hold in your hand, or measure with a meter. It’s called love. And not only humans love – you simply need to watch animals caring for their young to understand that. So it’s something inherent to life. In fact all emotions are non-tangible. They are beyond the realm of physicists, who can explain which parts of a brain seem to do what, but not how this results in feelings and emotions.

And these least tangible of all things, these thoughts, feelings and emotions, are the most important things there are. We thrive on companionship and communication. We need to feel loved and needed. And we want to give our love to other people (and animals too). This is why the richest people in the world have nothing of real value if they don’t possess these things. Oh yes, such people can change the world, have people at their beck and call, and can physically manipulate our lives. They may have power, but that doesn’t mean they have our respect, or our love.

Whether or not we have lots of money, our real wealth is (and has always been) who we are, and what we hold in our hearts. But sometimes we need to remind ourselves of this as we get caught up in the hum-drum, day-to-day world. We need to take a timeout and reflect on the true value of the things we have, what we do and, most of all, who we are.

For more about our need to reflect in order to be more fulfilled and achieve personal growth, check out my book Creative Visualization For Dummies.

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What’s your personality type, and what does it mean?

The Myers-Briggs Type Indicators were created during World War II to help women entering the industrial workforce to identify the sort of war-time jobs in which they would be “most comfortable and effective”. These preferences were extrapolated from theories proposed by Carl Jung, and published in his 1921 book Psychological Types. There are 16 different personality types, none of which are any better or worse than the others (just different), and they are based on the 4 following pairs of personality attributes:

  • (E) Extroversion / (I) Introversion
  • (S) Sensing / (N) Intuition
  • (T) Thinking / (F) Feeling
  • (J) Judgment / (P) Perception

Using a series of carefully crafted questions, the closest personality type to either the left or right portion of these pairs is assigned to a person, ranging from the ESTJ type, through to INFP. The following table contains all the types in approximate order of prevalence in the population at large, and briefly describes each one:

Type

Prevalence

Description

INFJ

1%

Has a complex personality with a strong drive and enjoys helping others.

INTJ

1%

The most self-confident and pragmatic of all the types. Decisions come very easily to this builder of systems and applier of theoretical models.

INTP

2%

Uses thought and language precisely and can readily discern contradictions and inconsistencies. This type constantly tries to understand the world.

INFP

2%

Has a high capacity for caring with a calm and pleasant face to the world, and a high sense of honour derived from internal values.

ENTP

3%

Is non-conformist and innovative, but enthusiastically interested in everything and always sensitive to possibilities.

ENFJ

3%

An outstanding leader of groups who can be aggressive at helping others to be the best that they can.

ENTJ

4%

Tends to seek a position of responsibility and enjoys being an executive, with a basic driving force being the need to lead.

ISTP

5%

Is a master of tools, craves excitement, and is fearless. For this type life should be impulsive rather than planned, and action is an end to itself.

ENFP

6%

Has an uncanny sense of the motivations of others, and for this type life is an exciting drama.

ISFP

7%

Is interested in the fine arts and expresses primarily through action or art forms using senses that are keener than the other types.

ISFJ

8%

Is very loyal and desires to be of service and to minister to individual needs.

ISTJ

9%

Is decisive in practical affairs, thoroughly dependable, and a guardian of time-honoured institutions.

ESTP

10%

Is fiercely competitive and (when present), things begin to happen. This type is an entrepreneur and negotiator who often uses shock effect to get attention.

ESFP

12%

Radiates attractive warmth and optimism and is very generous, smooth, witty, charming, clever, and fun to be with.

ESTJ

13%

Is a highly responsible pillar of strength, much in touch with the external environment.

ESFJ

14%

The most sociable of all types and a nurturer of harmony. This type makes an outstanding host or hostess.

The personality types are explained in greater detail at xeromag.com (just one of thousands of websites on the topic). By determining the types of two people it is thought possible to understand how they will relate to each other.

You can discover your personality type by taking a test at humanmetrics.com (also one of many similar sites) where all you need to do is answer a few dozen questions as honestly as you can. With a little Googling you can then also find information detailing the personality types that you are most likely to be compatible with. Apparently my personality type is INTJ. What’s yours?

Remember, however, that these personality types are indicators only of your current type. While many people do not alter their personality a great deal over the course of a lifetime, anyone who sets out on a personal-improvement program may switch between a number of different types. So it can be informative to retake the Myers-Briggs test every now and then, to see where your personality currently lies, and to give clues as to areas you may wish to work on for improving yourself and your relationships with others.

For more information on personal development using creative visualization, please check out the website of my book Creative Visualization For Dummies.

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Why unskilled think they are skilled, and vice versa

There’s a fascinating psychological principle known as the Dunning-Kruger effect, which is a cognitive bias whereby someone who knows a little about a subject is unaware of just how much there is that goes into it, and therefore assumes that they must know pretty much all there is to know about it.

On the other hand, as people learn more about things they tend to discover how much more there is that they don’t yet know. And the more they learn the bigger the gap between their knowledge and the totality of information about the subject there seems to be.

Therefore many highly skilled people often rate their ability in their chosen field as much lower than it really is, so much so in fact that they will often rate their skill level as being lower than the layperson rates his or hers.

Conversely, unskilled people who know just a little about a subject not only rate their skill level far higher than it really is, they often place their ability as higher than experts in the field rate themselves. So, on the one hand you have an unskilled or semi-skilled person rating his or her skill level as higher than that of an expert, and on the other the expert rates their skill level as lower than the unskilled person.

What a perverse world we live in. It certainly accounts for the examples of cognitive bias often seen on shows such as American Idol and X-Factor, in which the big-headed, highly confident contestants are often excruciatingly awful, while the humble ones, with lower self-esteem often surprise with their genuine ability.

It also accounts for how people are all too ready to disagree with things like climate change, because they know just enough about it to think that they know most of what’s needed to know. They look around themselves, see a snow shower, and decide that there’s no such thing as global warming. They also may think there’s a big conspiracy and that only a few scientists support the theory (assumptions that help reinforce your own belief), when in fact over 95% of scientists skilled in the study of climate agree that the world is heating up.

But is there something that we can take from this phenomenon to use in our own lives, apart from (perhaps) choosing to give more credence to things skilled or studied people have to say? I believe there is. For example, if you are qualified in a field but tend to have doubts about your own ability, think about Dunning-Kruger, and perhaps you’ll realize that you are actually quite knowledgeable and capable after all. This may raise your self-confidence and ability to do your work.

There again do you ever find that you take on a task or project only to discover that it’s a lot more difficult than you at first thought? If so, maybe the little you know about something is making you over-confident, and by taking stock you may learn to catch yourself before you begin something that looks easier than it really is. Perhaps you’ll choose to take a course, buy a book or search the Internet first to see if there’s stuff you ought to know before you start.

Certainly when I consider my own knowledge about something, or my ability, if I rate myself highly I will ask myself whether I am being over-confident. And if I don’t rate myself that much I may wonder whether I am putting myself down. In either circumstance my first course of action is generally a trip to Google to check up on the facts. And that has to be a good thing that can only result in greater knowledge, no matter whether I over- or under-estimate my own ability.

I discuss this and other cognitive biases (and how to either avoid or make use of them) in my book Creative Visualization For Dummies, available worldwide on Kindle now, and also now in paperback in the UK (and worldwide in paperback very soon).

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Why you should learn to lucid dream

If you’ve never experienced it then you may find it hard to understand what lucid dreaming is all about. In fact you may be thoroughly sceptical and dismiss the whole thing as silly nonsense. But I can tell you from personal experience that lucid dreams are very real and something that many millions of people regularly enjoy.

These types of dreams are hyper-real in that when you experience one it is bursting with vibrant colour, there’s often marvellous music playing in the background (if you listen for it), the air is the freshest and sweetest you’ve ever smelled, and you are the healthiest you have ever been (or could ever be).

Lucid dreaming is when you experience full consciousness while dreaming. You know that you are in a dream and you discover that you can do absolutely anything you like in it. What generally causes you to become conscious without waking up is when you notice something so incongruous that you would never see in real life that you instantly realise you must be in a dream. But, you may be thinking that so much of what you dream is weird and wonderful and could never occur in real life. And you’re right. It’s only sometimes that the incongruity stands out, and there’s no way of knowing when it will happen. However, there are techniques you can use to increase the possibility, which I’ll explain a little later.

You may also have another question on your mind, along the lines of “What’s the big deal with being conscious while dreaming, anyway?” And that’s a good question to ask if you’ve never experienced it. The answer is that when you dream you create a world that is far more real than you remember when you wake up. Usually it’s packed with colour and texture that you rarely see in real life.

When you ‘wake up’ inside a dream you can consciously appreciate just how wonderful dreams really are. And because you’re awake you will remember the dream in exquisite detail. I promise, you’ll never forget your first lucid dream.

Experiencing a lucid dream

The dreamworld your unconscious mind creates for you is so intricately constructed that you can pluck a leaf from a tree and examine it in tiny detail. Every little vein and pockmark is there. You can walk over to a building and examine its brickwork, where you’ll discover every item of sand or other material that went into its making. You can also feel all manner of fine and rough textures.

The only thing you don’t feel, though, is pain. Nothing actually hurts you physically in a dream, which is why pinching yourself inside one is a sure way of proving that you are, indeed, dreaming.

When you are experiencing a lucid dream you can do absolutely anything you want. You can float, bounce or fly around. You can dance and run super-fast. And you can even participate in dream sex. What you do is entirely up to you, and whatever you desire to manifest, your unconscious will create for you to enjoy. Most lucid dreamers also report that they experience extreme joy when in the state.

You can also use your awake time in a dream to work on your personal growth because it’s the perfect time to slay any nightmare monsters or demons that bother you. Seek them out and cuddle them with inescapable love. Envelop them with goodwill and optimism and turn them from black and menacing ugly things (which dream monsters often are), into tiny, colourful collectable figures that couldn’t hurt a fly. This will go a long way towards reducing the incidence of nightmares if you have them.

Becoming lucid while sleeping

I most frequently used to lucid dream after working the night shift at the home for disabled people where I spent my first few years after completing my education. The night staff had to stay up all night and regularly attend to the resident’s needs, so napping wasn’t an option, and copious amounts of coffee would be drunk to keep us alert throughout each 12-hour shift.

We used to work only a few nights at a time and then would go back onto day shifts, so our internal day and night clock was constantly changing, and by the morning after the first night shift in a series, I would have a combination of sleep deficit, exhaustion and caffeine, which would make it quite hard indeed to get to sleep. It also meant that sometimes my dreams would become lucid – since then I have learned to recognize the first hints of becoming conscious during sleep and am able to “wake myself up” once or twice a month to enjoy a lucid experience.

One way to help bring on a lucid experience is to think about the concept as you go to sleep. This will prime your unconscious mind to be more willing to relinquish control when it thinks appropriate. So imagine having a lucid dream (even if you’ve never had one) and visualize all the things you would like to do, and allow yourself to drift off to sleep as you do so.

You can also get into the habit of pinching yourself regularly throughout the day. Try to do so at least once an hour so that it becomes standard routine and quite normal for you. After a while you may find that the habit carries over into your sleeping, and if you do pinch yourself while asleep, the lack of pain should be enough to awaken your consciousness.

If your partner doesn’t object another method that often works is to set your alarm clock for about five hours after you normally go to sleep. When it sounds turn it off and try to remember everything you can about your interrupted dream. Sit up in bed while you do this and keep the concept of lucid dreaming firmly in your mind. Imagine what it is like and what you will do. Try to stay awake for at least fifteen minutes (or longer if you can), then settle back down and let yourself drift back off to sleep, and sometimes this will help provoke a lucid dream – but you may have to try it quite a few times before it does.

Making the most while it lasts

Sadly, lucid dreams last only about five or ten minutes in most cases. Either your conscious mind gets tired or your unconscious mind decides to seize the reins again. So as soon as you know that you have become lucid don’t waste any time before doing all the things you have been waiting for. Quickly go and examine all the objects around you to see how exquisitely detailed they are – this alone will tell you how amazing lucid dreams are – and how much more powerful than the most expensive computer graphics card your brain is.

Seek out other people, animals or things to interact with. As you move around, notice how  the 3D parallax is absolutely perfect, with the vanishing points moving slower than things near you. Listen quietly and see if your unconscious is playing music for you. If it is, sometimes it may be a tune you know but often it will be a new kind of music that’s rich and almost angelic – somehow the best music you’ve ever heard. Go and fly and look down on the world – the trees and houses and everything else you can see. It’s all there in perfect detail, and you can fly to any part of it. In fact you can fly as far and high as you like, even to the moon, where the air you breathe will be just as fresh as on earth.

As you become skilled you will even be able to create your own imaginary worlds, islands, buildings, animals, aliens, or what have you. Just like in the movie Inception, it will all instantly come to life and you can then experience it to your heart’s content.

If nothing else, once you have dreamed lucidly, you will forever be in complete awe at the depth, ability and creativity of your unconscious mind. And if you use creative visualization you will understand just how it is that your visualizations manage to bring your goals to fruition.

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