Yes, I Can! by Robin Nixon

Recently I’ve been once again investigating social networking sites such as Twitter, StumbleUpon, LinkedIn and Google+, and it seems to me that the reason I never really used them that much before is the sheer amount of ‘noise’ that enters your streams. Every time I have got started I’ve been flooded with far too much information – and everyone seems to be trying to sell you something.

But it recently occured to me that by not participating I’ve been missing out on reading all the interesting things many people might have to say, and have not been meeting people I should have come across years ago, and with whom I could have had many interesting, thought-provoking, meaningful, or just plain fun conversations.

So I’m starting to take the plunge and search all these networks for key words and phrases I’m interested in such as “creativity”, “visualization”, “motivation”, and so on. Then if I find just one post by someone that looks at all interesting (and even if all their other posts don’t appeal to me) I am following them anyway. Also, sometimes I come across a post where someone says something like “I can’t get the motivation together,” and I will follow them – it gives them an extra follower, and if they follow back it just may be that one day I’ll post something that helps them.

So what I’ve learned is that you can’t expect all the posts in your news feeds or streams to be fascinating, or even half of them, or even ten percent. Instead you must take the time to treat these streams like a mine and you have to go digging to find the good stuff. And that’s what I’m now doing. I suppose this must be what those people with hundreds of thousands of reciprocal followers have already learned – treat the streams as if you are a prospector sifting them for particles of gold.

And there’s some gold there for sure, so when I find it I pass it on with a retweet or the equivalent – I don’t mind that I didn’t think up that nugget, and I’m more than happy to pass on good ideas, great insights, or posts that otherwise engage me – in my view the author deserves the recognition.

So now, where I would previously carefully evaluate every friend request, I’m not afraid of following anyone, because I know that everyone has something interesting to say, and there’s no knowing where or when they’ll say it. But if I’m not following a person when they say it, then I’ll miss it. And people grow and develop too, so posting one thing I like, hugely increases the chance that you’ll post another, and I want to be there for it.

There again, that doesn’t mean that I haven’t already started trimming my follows, because there are, unfortunately, lots of spammers out there, and if all I see from someone is marketing I take the risk that I might miss them saying something great (because I doubt they ever will until they get off their marketing high horse), and so I unfollow. But I still give the benefit of the doubt first. When someone follows me now I’m always courteous and follow back – and it stays that way unless I get spammed.

Anyway, that’s my new approach to participating in social media, and already I have learned several new things, met many new people, and found a number of great websites I never came across before. In fact, spending that extra hour or so every day to sift the streams and dig the mines is proving to be fun, not a chore.

If you have a lot of friends and people you follow or who follow you, I’d be pleased to hear your strategies for managing the data flow, so please leave a comment below.

Some people speak and act from the heart and as a result they are exceptionally warm and friendly to be with. It comes naturally to them to express their love for their family and friends, other people and yes, even themselves.

Many of us find this difficult for a several reasons. During our upbringing maybe expressing emotions was frowned upon. We may have feelings of insecurity that hold us back. Or perhaps we may be depressed and find it hard to concentrate on loving people, and loving life.

Whatever the reason, I suspect that lots of us feel we don’t express our inner feelings of love as much as we ought to, and if that sounds like you too then there’s a great visualization you can perform that really gets you psyched up, and keen to show a greater interest in other people, as follows:

• Picture yourself standing with your arms outstretched, in the middle of a huge grassy field with towns and cities all around you. Now imagine you are slowly growing until you are a hundred feet tall, the height of a large communications tower. Feel how strong and powerful you are as you now begin transmissions – the program you are broadcasting is nothing but pure love.
• Feel the power shoot out from your heart and up and down your spine, tingling throughout your body before it then pulses out from you in waves of love enveloping everywhere in all directions for dozens of miles. Feel the energy move up from your heart to between your shoulder blades, where it creates shivers (as if you are getting a shoulder massage), before it shoots to the back of your head and vibrates away behind you.
• Now see the golden energy beaming in waves from your wide-spread finger tips, writhing and wriggling over the horizon, with the beams themselves shooting more energy down to the land below, like a sort of lightning.
• Slowly look around you with your powerful eyes as they beam pure love and joy to wherever they gaze, and know that your energy is being received by everyone within a radius of many miles.
• As you transmit the power of love, feel more welling up from you heart, where there is a reservoir of more than you could ever need, with more being created all the time. If you are religious now is also a great time to offer up prayers for all these people. Ask God to look after them and for their lives to be enriched.
• Try to hold this vision for a few minutes if you can, all the time thinking nothing but wishing love, peace, goodwill and boundless energy for everyone and everything around you. When you have finished slowly turn the beams of energy off, gently power down, shrink back to your normal size and return to your place in reality.

By practicing this visualization you increase your capacity to love and show love, and that of your unconscious mind too. Remember that your unconscious is active 24 hours a day watching over you and helping you to have as enjoyable life as possible. Visualizations such as this (which the unconscious easily understands) help it keep your spirits up, and subtly develop your way of thinking so that you become more comfortable expressing your emotions.

If you practice this visualization regularly you will find that whatever previously held you back from showing your love will diminish, and you’ll be amazed by how well your relationships flourish from now on.

With well over 500 different phobias listed at phobialist.com you might think that human beings must be a highly neurotic species, and maybe you’d be right! We certainly have a knack for getting into a to-do over the seemingly smallest of things. If you have any phobias you would like to rid yourself of there’s a technique you can use to instantly draw on inner help whenever you become anxious. It involves assigning emotions and feelings to parts of your body (which I call positivity points) which you then touch in order to recall them. For example, try the following:

• Touch your right pointing finger to the base of the pointing finger on your left hand, and think of something that gives you a great sense of calm. It could be a piece of music, a location such as a church, or the wilderness, or anywhere like that. Remain focused on this feeling for a while and at the same time notice your finger touching the positivity point.
• Now clear your mind and touch your pointing finger to the base of the second finger on your left hand while you think of a situation in which you feel totally in control and fully competent. Perhaps the place is preparing a meal in the kitchen, or maybe programming or typing in front of a computer, driving at the wheel of a car, or chairing a meeting. Whatever you choose, all the time stay aware of your finger touching the positivity point.
• Once again clear your thoughts then touch the base of your third finger. This time when you do so, think about a time when you were at your most creative. Perhaps you once wrote a poem, a song or a piece of music of which you are proud. Or maybe you won a cooking or photography contest. Then again perhaps you were in the zone while sketching. Even if you don’t think of yourself as a creative person, you are. Humans are creative beings, so just think of something you like to do and are good at. And keep concentrating on it for a few moments while feeling your finger touching the positivity point.
• Finally clear your mind once more and touch the base of your little finger as you recall something or someone that makes you smile. It could be a joke you recently heard, a television show you enjoy, a particular comedian, or simply spending time with friends. Or you may find that participating in a sport or activity brings on a smile, or playing a musical instrument does it for you. Again, concentrate on whatever easily comes to mind while also noticing how your finger is touching the positivity point.

After a while clear your mind a final time and then spend a few minutes touching each of your positivity points and recalling the feeling that each brings, in the case of this exercise, it will be an easily recallable mnemonic: The four Cs of Calmness, Control, Creativity, and Comedy. Repeat until the emotional links for each point are strongly formed.

Once you are practiced at recalling these feelings on demand by touching your positivity points, you have a tool you can use whenever you are presented with a fear or phobia. Simply touch the correct point for the feeling you want to feel, and it will replace your usual fear or phobia.

Over time, if you deliberately choose to use this technique to overcome your fears, you will then desensitize yourself and be far more comfortable in what may have previously been intolerable situations.

Conflict occurs when one person wants to do one thing, and another wants to do something else. It can happen when people have differing points of view, and can also arise when someone has something on their mind which interferes with their ability to think rationally.

More precisely conflict can result from a perceived breach of faith or trust, an unresolved disagreement that has escalated to an emotional level, a miscommunication leading to unclear expectations, personality clashes, ego problems and more.

The end result of argument is usually nothing more than raised blood pressure, anger, hurt feelings and animosity. Very little else is ever achieved through arguing. So why do we all do it so much? The main reason seems to be that we are adamant about getting our point of view across, and we think we are actually trying to achieve something positive. But we always regret it afterwards.

Therefore, if you find yourself often drawn into arguments that you would rather not have, you can help prevent this happening and mitigate the results by practicing the following visualization exercise, which helps to emphasize the futility of arguing:

• Imagine a situation in which you have argued with someone else enough that one or the other (or both of you) raised your voice and started to get angry.
• Now hold that thought. Freeze frame the pair of you in your mind’s eye and take in the situation.
• Both of you are cross and you both feel equally justified in your side of the argument.
• Now fast forward to a point after this where you are both getting along just fine and freeze frame that.
• Then  flick back and forth between the two scenes. What can you notice that’s different?

In the second scene was the subject of the argument in the first one actually resolved one way or another? If not, what happened? Most likely you both cooled off over a period of hours or days and let the topic slide. You also probably both still retain the views you previously had and therefore they could once again become a bone of contention in the future, which may lead to another pointless argument.

So, apart from trying to take a broader view of such conflict with this visualization, how you can prevent further occurrences? The answer is to practice another visualization that will help train you to respond differently, like this:

• Imagine that someone has said something to you with which you strongly disagree, have made a disparaging comment about you, or that they have been rude to you or another person.
• Feel how this makes you mad and that you simply won’t put up with such aggression, or rudeness or nonsense.
• Note how your blood pressure rises and that feeling in your head that says you must assert your opinion begins to take over.
• Then, just at the point when your blood is about to boil, take a deep breath in and then breath out as slowly and steadily as you can.
• Imagine telling yourself that you choose not to be angered by this person. That responding by arguing is exactly what the other person expects and that by not doing so you’ll take the wind out of their sails.
• Nothing is achieved by quarrelling, even if you feel you have been offended or slandered, and now is definitely not the time to say anything rash.

Practice this technique several times and soon you’ll find that you are less quick to anger and will avoid arguments, preferring to discuss your differences at a time when you both are less emotional.

Something  I often hear from people is that they don’t feel particularly creative and find it difficult to come up with new ideas. But I’m firmly of the opinion that it’s simply a matter of practice because (deep down) humans are highly creative beings – for example, if you can remember them just think of the strange and convoluted dreams you have each night.

Also, to start becoming more creative you need to believe that you are capable of it. I would even go as far as to say that you need to know that you are a great source of creativity. You are, of course; you simply need to know this fact. So to help you become aware of your inner creativity and start building the neural pathways in your brain that will let it flow, try practicing the following visualization:

• Relax comfortably, close your eyes, and imagine that you are standing in the center of a great hall in a museum of art.
• All around you are bare, white walls, stunning marble pillars and arched ceilings that sore several stories high. You are an artist and are preparing for an exhibition of your work which is wide and varied.
• Like an orchestral conductor raise your arms and from deep within you pull up gorgeous painting after painting. They can be portraits, still life, abstract or anything at all, with each one materializing in its chosen place on the wall as you point to it.
• You are also a sculptor so now  start to populate the great hall with your sculptures. Again, bring them up quickly and easily.
• They are marble busts of people and animals, strange and hypnotic shapes, and weird and wonderful structures. Some are plain, others shimmer all the colors of the rainbow, as one by one you point to where they should be located and they fade into existence.
• Visualize that you are also a musical composer and now create some music for your exhibition visitors.
• Feel it shoot out of your fingers like musical notes on a stave, and then dance around the room as if in a Disney animated movie. It’s the most stirring music you can muster, full of fire and fury, yet subtle and moving – better than any movie soundtrack.
• Finally let your arms fall to your sides and walk around the exhibition viewing all that you’ve just created.
• See the sculptures and paintings from different viewpoints, listen to how the music changes depending on the acoustics of the area of the hall you are in.
• Wonder at how all this beauty has arisen from within you, and think to yourself, “Yes, this is what I want to show to the world.”
• When you have experienced your exhibition enough take in a deep breath then as you exhale let your visualization depart from your mind along with your breath, then open your eyes once more.

I hope this visualization will have surprised you (it does most people) with the speed at which you were able to bring your creativity to life, and by the abundance of it there is within you. And you have only scratched the surface because in future columns I’ll show you how you can learn to bring out your inner creativity on demand, and even come up with new ideas on the spot, for example while in a brainstorming meeting.

Like most visualizations I recommend you repeat this one from time to time. If you do you’ll find your ability to be creative continues to grow, and you’ll begin to become a great source of inspiration and ideas.

In a study conducted at the Dominican University of Southern California, Professor Gail Matthews recruited 150 volunteers from all walks of life (from their early 20s to early 70s) to take part in a study of goal setting.

The participants were randomly divided into five groups, each of which was asked to think about business-related goals they would like to accomplish within a month.

Group 1 (the control group) was asked to do nothing else, but each of the other four groups was asked to do something more than the previous one towards realizing their goals. For example: groups 2-5 had to write all their goals down on paper. Then groups 3-5 had to add action commitments to each (such as, “I will do so and so…”), while groups 4-5 had to also tell a friend about their goals. Finally group 5 was asked to send this friend a weekly progress report.

A month later all groups were asked to report on the percentage of goals that they had achieved, and when the results came in it turned out that by attaining three quarters of all goals set, group 5 was by far and away the most successful. This was followed by Groups 4 and 2, with Group 1 performing the worst at less than half of all goals achieved, as follows:

• Group 1 – 43% █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █
  
• Group 2 – 61% █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █
  
• Group 3 – 51% █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █
  
• Group 4 – 64% █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █
  
• Group 5 – 76% █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █ █
  

What this study revealed was that simply by setting goals you will achieve them a little under half of the time, which is not bad – but neither is it all that good. However, simply by writing your goals down it turns out that you increase your chances of success to over half. What’s more, if you include your friends in your goal-setting you stand to increase the likelihood of these goals succeeding to over three-quarters of the time – every three out of four goals you choose will be attained.

In another study conducted at Yale University in 1953, seniors graduating that year were asked a number of questions, one of which was whether they had set goals for the future that they had written down. Only about three percent of the respondents claimed that they did. In 1973 the participants were once again interviewed and it was reported that the three percent of them that wrote down their goals were now wealthier than the other 97 percent combined.

So why not write down your main goals today? It only takes a moment and could pay off big time. For example, assume (like most of us) you have rough goals of being happy, healthy and wealthy. In which case you might put down the following:

• I will be a happier person – every day I am happier than the last.
• I will be fitter, stronger and healthier as each day passes.
• My finances will steadily improve as I work hard towards increasing my income.

You don’t have to write down these exact goals. In fact, writing your own goals in your own words is more effective. But choose some goals anyway, write them down on a sheet of paper, and then sign your signature underneath, because this is a contract with yourself.

Now keep that paper and refer to it regularly. Pin it to the wall if you like and repeat the goals out loud from time to time. As each day passes and you repeat these goals they become affirmations, and your desire and commitment towards attaining them will strengthen.

And remember to share your goals with your friends if appropriate too (and keep them updated), as that will further increase your results.

One of the main techniques I use and write about here is creative visualization. It’s been around for thousands of years, but was usually simply referred to as positive thinking.

In the early part of the 20th century writers such as Napoleon Hill (Think and Grow Rich) and Dale Carnegie (How To Win Friends and Influence People) brought a new interest in the subject, with their books selling millions of copies over the decades.

Then, in the 1970s, Shakti Gawain published the first book that uses the title of the technique, Creative Visualization. Since then authors such as Rhonda Byrne (The Secret) have written about the subject or similar topics such as the “law of attraction”, and there’s also the concept of cosmic ordering, as written about by UK author and television entertainer Noel Edmonds (Positively Happy).

Personally I group all these things under the umbrella of creative visualization, because that’s what you must do for them to work – you use your imagination to visualize just what it is that you would like to happen. Whether or not you are religious or have an interest in mysticism, studies show that by practicing visualization you are far more likely to achieve your goals.

Some put the amazing results you get down to God or a higher consciousness, while others believe there’s a universal law of attraction, or that the cosmos ultimately gives you what you want. On the other hand many people (myself included) consider the biological and psychological reasons for its success. But whatever reason for your belief in the technique, once you have tried it there’s no doubt that it works – and it works well.

But what is it like to use creative visualization? Well, it’s quite similar to daydreaming – something you do anyway. The difference is that in daydreaming you allow your mind to wander from thought to thought, whereas in creative visualization you consciously guide your visualization process. It’s not hard to do because it takes very little effort, but it reaps great rewards.

What’s more, because it’s creative visualization, you can be as imaginative as you like so you can really enjoy yourself while visualizing. So, for example, when you have a task to do that seems particularly daunting, here’s a visualization you can try that will help raise your feelings of self-confidence and energy.

• Sit comfortably in your chair with your eyes closed and imagine there is a ball of energy pulsing right between your shoulder blades.
• It’s warm, strong and radiates intensely colorful waves of confidence throughout your body, which travel up and down your spine like shivers, then out along all your limbs to your fingers and toes, and up to your head, which tingles right at the back of your skull and sends its own shivers from there throughout your brain.
• Feel the energy growing within you so that you become refreshed and emotionally stronger than usual.
• Visualize it gently throbbing throughout your body and also pulsating in your mind, as if recharging your batteries.
• At all times you are in full control of yourself, and now you have this enormous source of power to draw on. So do so.
• Wait until it has pervaded every cell in your body and brain, and when you feel reenergized and confident with handling the difficult task, slowly take in and let out a deep breath, releasing with it all the excess energy you haven’t soaked up.
• Then count to three and open your eyes.

Now you’re ready to approach things with a renewed focus and energy, and a greater sense of self-confidence. Try repeating the visualization regularly and you’ll bring on your reenergized feeling much more quickly when you think about it.